Chard in Yorkshire: The new Mr & Mrs Chard!

As previously mentioned Caz and I got engaged on the blustery cliffs overlooking the North Sea back in 2012. And almost since that day, we have been planning and devising our wedding.

With anything in a relationship this all required a certain amount of give and take. Caz’s ideal wedding would have involved a hot beach somewhere with just our very nearest and dearest in attendance. I felt my life wouldn’t be worth living if I had gone for this approach, due to my family being very close (in terms of relationship not geography!). Considering myself a Christian, I also wouldn’t have minded a church wedding, but as neither of us attend, apart from the odd Beavers outing, it seemed a tad hypocritical.

We finally settled on having the wedding in our home town of Bridlington, with the bay and cliffs a suitably dramatic backdrop and chose The Expanse Hotel right on the seafront. We could have both the ceremony and reception at the same venue, so it seemed the right choice.

Putting the invite list together was a little fraught – my family is quite large in comparison to C’s and there were numerous friends who we just simply couldn’t invite due to space and budget considerations. There were a few budget saving decisions we made along the way, including having a buffet instead of a served meal, having the wedding on a Friday and in October.

On the eve of the wedding I went and got myself a nice, neat haircut and collected all the suits for both Dads, my best man and ushers. We put all the favours, table names and . As a last minute decision, we decided to hire a reconditioned post box from the Wedding Collection in Hornsea. This only cost £35 and we both loved it! It was also a very practical way to keep our cards safe and secure.

I was staying in the hotel overnight with Caz staying at home with the kids (and a few of her friends). So I checked in around 4ish and started meeting and greeting all my family and friends who had made the long journey. Despite this I still had a few errands to run, items to collect from home, things to remember – so it wasn’t until 6ish that I truly relaxed and managed to catch up with everyone.

We settled in the Marine Bar, which is a lovely v-shaped pub adjoining (and part of the same complex) as The Expanse. It makes a regular appearance in the Good Pub Guide with a good selection of real ales on tap, including one of my favourites Wold Top Bitter. I’m not sure the Thursday afternoon regulars were too enamoured with the influx of noisy children and the invasion of the West Country burr into this usually quiet domain, but we were enjoying ourselves.

We had a superb meal in the evening – I surprised myself as I thought I would be too nervous to eat, before slinking back down to the Marine Bar.

Some of my friends were travelling up from London after work and hence were running very late. So much so we had to head back to the cosy lounge area and enjoy all the benefits of the hotel bar, as the Marine Bar finally shut. My London friends seemed enamoured with the area, having passed places with intriguing names such as Land of Nod, Wetwang and Kilham. Getting into the wee hours, I thought it best to head on off to bed.

Nerves started to kick in first thing in the morning, as I ventured down for breakfast. The weather was dry but the sky looked threatening with some ominous dark clouds rolling across the horizon.

I ventured into town in the morning with my folks and played on the 2p machines (or “tupenny nudging” as it’s called up here) which seemed to be even more of scam than normal (if a 2p drops you’d expect to be able to claim it….surely the machine shouldn’t swallow it back up!). As you can tell this was happily taking my mind off things, but with midday looming I still wanted to rehearse my speech one last time, grab a sarnie and make sure all the suits fitted, so I made my way back.

Already, a few of my friends had turned up to the hotel in their suits making it all the more real. I managed my food and had a nerve-calming pint of John Smith’s whilst taking my Usher Jim through my speech. More people started turning up, so it was definitely time to get my suit on and go through any last minute preparations.

With more people to meet and greet, I was becoming a bit more distracted and started worrying that the worried look on my face was very obvious. Hypothetical worry then turned to genuine worry, as with 1 hour to go the Maitre D told us that the CD we had burned for the ceremony wasn’t working, which sent me into a bit of a panic. I ended up ringing Caz’s sister to explain the issue.

At 2:30, with virtually all our guests milling about in the bar, and me jumpy as a rabbit, I was asked to go and see the Registrar who had just arrived to go through all the formalities. With just 10 minutes until Caz was due to arrive I was even more nervous that the guests were still in the bar area and asked my ushers to start ushering them through – only to find the Maitre D telling us the room was not ready! So back they were all ushered….this and the apparent lack of music combined to send my stress levels quite high. But as I was feeling all was lost, on came the music…the problem had (seemingly) been solved!

Finally the Maitre D requested everyone to come in and the room started filling out, although my ushers and I were still confused at who was to sit where and exactly who the “Reserved” seats were for. With hindsight maybe we should have checked all this!

Finally Caz arrived in a convertible…just as the heavens opened. Incredibly bad timing. Thankfully it was only a light shower and soon enough, we were ready to go.

Down the aisle came the kids, and I knelt to give my daughter a kiss, but, typically, she ran off the other way! Then to the (somewhat surprising) strains of Snow Patrol’s “Just say yes”, Caz came through the doors and up the aisle. She looked absolutely stunning.

The ceremony itself seemed to go by in a blur – thankfully I didn’t stumble over any lines and our daughter stole the show by running up the aisle clapping herself all the way! And with that, we were finally married!

So it was onto the seafront for photos in the blustering wind. Thankfully the Sun had come out and, as if by magic, a rainbow appeared right across the headland behind us. Cue loads of frantic snapping, as everyone tried to get the perfect shot provided by Mother Nature!

The first part was over, but I was still feeling nervous about the speech and soon enough the room was re-set for us to take our seats. We had decided to have the speeches before the food – so at least it would be all over and done with.

John, my Father-in-Law, went first, as tradition dictates. His speech was excellent with a lot of football analogies thrown in. But it seemed like mere seconds before it was my turn. And….

…if truth be told, it was nowhere near as nerve-wracking as I had imagined. The words flowed. The jokes got laughs. There were even some very funny ad-libs thrown in courtesy of my wife and mother-in-law. Plus I managed to keep my emotions in check….well, just about, until I reached the part about absent family. I had to pause for what seemed like an eternity to compose myself as I threatened to blub uncontrollably in a big man-mess of gasps and tears! Thankfully, with my Aunty Jen giving me a bit of encouragement, I saw it through. Never was I so glad to sit down in my entire life!

That was until Andy started his Best Man’s speech!

In all fairness, it was very good. I had been sceptical as he had told me he hadn’t even started writing it until a fortnight before, but it was full of gentle ribbing at just the right level and he did me proud.

So, we could all finally relax – although my stomach still really didn’t allow me to enjoy the food and drink as much as I wanted to, which resulted in me thinking I was going to remain quite sober. That was until my friend Laz (who won the Best Man’s Speech Sweepstake) spent his winnings on a watering can full of Snakebite and Black. At this point I must explain the significance of the watering can. One can was supplied to every hockey team participating in the Scarborough Hockey Festival, to fill with refreshing beverages – an easy way to dole out the drinks on tour. My Uni team had christened ours “Doris” in honour of one of our Cockney Teammate’s Girlfriend! After the tour, Doris had retired to Caroline’s friend Ashley’s garage – so she had lovingly brought Doris back to be reunited with some former owners.

I had a generous helping of Snakebite poured, which I examined closely. I wasn’t exactly enamoured with the amount of grass cuttings it had in it – but I duly polished off the offering like a true hockey player!

The music for our first dance had been a really difficult choice. At one point we had nearly settled on a song by Cher! Thankfully we got our act together and chose “It’s all about you” by McFly. We were joined by our eldest who started crying, telling us the song made him sad. I think he was just tired and feeling a little left out.

The party really kicked off and soon enough the drinks were flowing, shots were being poured, distributed and downed and the dancefloor was filled with a mix of Uncles, Aunties, Friends and Family.